One of the first things you will probably do, once you have found out that your husband has cheated on you, is take on some of the responsibility for the affair. While you may realize that a marriage is a 50-50 proposition, Anastasiadate there is no way that you should take any sort of blame for the affair itself. Marriage problems are 50-50, but an affair outside of the home is definitely not.
Marriage and its responsibilities
You may be very tempted to take
part of the responsibility for this affair but you need to understand that your
husband made the decision to cheat on his own. You're allowed to accept 50% of
the responsibility for any marriage problems, but no more than that. Once the
decision was made to cheat, that is where it ends. You can still look at the
marital problems on their own and decide whether they are worth fixing Dating.com but the affair is an aside that needs to be dealt
with separately.
Fixing marriage problems
After the affair everything is
going to seem a lot more complex and complicated. You may not be sure whether
you want to fix any of the marriage issues that occurred before the affair and
you may also be wondering whether you have the strength needed to work on them.
The first thing you'll need to do before you even get to that point is work
through the effects of the cheating and make yourself stronger.
Now is the time is to start working
on yourself. You will have to rebuild your self-esteem and self-respect and get
yourself back on track where you can see things more clearly. An affair can
affect your physical, Eharmony.com review emotional
and mental health and your responsibility right now is to get these things back
in order.
Here are the three most important
responsibilities you have to work through to rebuild the respect and love that
you may have lost in yourself.
1. Get a firm grasp on reality
Take a look at the reality around
you and connect with your complex thoughts, feelings and emotions. Understand
and accept that they may all be out of control and definitely need to be
addressed. This is all a natural part of the process, even though it is
extremely painful. Accept responsibility for facing the reality of the
situation so that you can get through it.
2. Put some attention on yourself
If you haven't been doing things
for yourself lately, now is the time to get started. A lot of people who have
lived through the effects of an affair have suddenly realized that they were
not doing anything for themselves and life was no longer as fun as it used to
be.
It is now time to fulfill your own
needs as you're working through the healing process. Connect with other people
whom you enjoy being with and do some things that you consider fun. You are
allowed to experience happiness and it is your responsibility now to make sure
that happiness happens. This needs to be done without guilt because you deserve
it.
3. You are responsible for your own
life
No matter what anyone has done to
you or what you have done to yourself, you have been given this life to live
and it is your responsibility to do it wisely and lovingly. You will be in
control of your own decisions, desires and dreams. Nobody is allowed to take
away this responsibility from you.
You are going to be moving forward
from now on even if you don't know what direction it will take. Your
responsibility is to retain your dignity and heal yourself first. You have the
power within you to be happy once again, even if it does not seem possible
right now.
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