Post-Affair Trauma - How to Come Out of It?

What can be more painful than coming to know that your spouse has had an affair? It is the trauma that follows this knowledge. This trauma can be as intensive as the one suffered by soldiers after a military combat, a shock resulting from the death of a dear one or the shock of getting involved in an accident. This post-affair lovinga.com review trauma can be highly testing and can create hell on earth for the affected person.

 

What happens during a post-affair trauma? The betrayal by your spouse will appear to you in gigantic proportions. You will be filled with self pity for having been the victim of the affair. You will fail to see things in proper perspective. Of course, you will be very angry with your cheating spouse and find it very difficult to deal with them in a normal way.

 

The post-affair trauma will generate a series of thoughts ranging from analyzing the causes for the affair to punishing the cheating spouse and if possible their lover. You may wonder whether the paramour of your spouse is more attractive than you are and whether this factor was the one that triggered the affair. You may also fantasize about your spouse lovinga.com  being in the arms of their lover. You may even imagine your spouse passionately making love to their paramour.

 

Obviously such thoughts dominating your mind when you are in the grip of the post-affair trauma will only demoralize you but not help you in any way. If you want to break the relationship with your spouse, which is an extreme step that should be taken only during exceptional situations, then you will have to begin the process of separation. Since the process of separation is painful by itself, you will feel even more tormented. But if you love your spouse, you will have a desire to reconcile with them, especially if your spouse is remorseful and seeks your forgiveness. But the morbid thoughts haunting your mind will not allow you to work on a reconciliation even if you want to.

 

The only healthy way to deal with the post-affair trauma is to spend some time alone introspecting. Have a notebook and pen and write down your thoughts. You can then dwell on them to judge how rational those thoughts are. Strike off the thoughts that appear irrational to you. lovinga Think what the best course will be, in your own interest. Tell yourself repeatedly that you will not allow thoughts that will weaken you.